


Blowing Out The Candles

by K_G



Series: Tight Pants & Maximum Angst 'Verse [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Outdoor Sex, Praise Kink, minor hurt/comfort, suicidal ideation & general depression, this was going to be rather depressing but turned into a pretty light hearted series entry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-24 23:15:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10751793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_G/pseuds/K_G
Summary: Dirk doesn't really enjoy his birthday under normal circumstances, let alone when his friends have encouraged the whole new universe gang to get together out in the woods for a shindig. Hal takes him aside for a breather after demands that Dirk give a speech leave him feeling disconnected and depressed. Roxy runs interference, shenanigans ensue.*Sexy* shenanigans.Takes place after Remember To Say Please And Thank You





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Makizushi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makizushi/gifts).



“SPEECH! C'mon Dirky, Dave give us a speech!” Roxy cups her hands around her mouth and bellows, and Dirk's face flushes dull red as he stands next to the shared birthday cake with Dave, novelty tanto knife in hand.

“Yeah bro, hit us up with some of that profound wisdom that gets pumped into your domepiece every time the numbers go up.” Dave snickers and extends his hand in a 'go for it' gesture. Dirk glowers.

“Why me?”

“You're the one with 'testified' in your chumhandle, dude. What's the good word?”

“Go on, bro!” Jake calls out with a grin from his chair at the long outdoor table.“I dare say you'll come up with a ripsnorter of a speech!”

 

Dirk stares at the sea of faces looking at him, almost universally wearing grins of anticipation. The sun is almost uncomfortably warm on the back of his neck, and not for the first time that afternoon he wishes he'd been able to talk Jane into arranging this shindig indoors as opposed to at the local park. At least the trolls and Hal get to sit under a sunshade. Hal is smiling like everyone else, clearly anticipating a quality Strider ramble. Dirk's stomach churns.

 

“I don't...have anything prepared.” Maybe he can get out of this.

 

“OH COME ON. YOU'RE DAVE'S DANCESTOR. LIKE YOU NEED A SCRIPT TO DISPENSE A CONSTANT DRIBBLE OF BULLSHIT INTO OUR AURAL NODES.” Karkat is grinning, and Dave gives him a thumbs up.

 

“Fine.” Dirk pauses, his knuckles white around the cake knife.

 

In a flash, he imagines taking that knife and plunging it into his throat, in front of everyone. The thought passes, but the fingers on his free hand spasm. He sees Hal's circuits flash under his eye, the smile fading a little and replaced by an expression of mild concern. He opens his mouth, but Dirk starts talking first.

 

“So. Thanks for coming, everyone. Today is our twenty second birthday. I didn't think I'd get this far. Growing up solo out in the middle of the fuckin' ocean, being hunted for sport, and knowing you're one of two humans left in your time? Not exactly conducive circumstances for thinking 'where will I be in six years?' and pulling up answers that aren't 'being a one man buffet for the local sea-life.”

 

Roxy's smile vanishes, and her expression matches Hal's one of increasing worry. The trolls are nodding along, Meenah mouthing 'sorry aboat that', and Equius's mouth twitching down at the corners for a moment.

 

“But here I am. Here we are. New reality, fresh start, no omnipresent looming threat of disaster. I've been thinking about that question.” Coming up empty on answers, too. “I'm...glad to be here, today.” Tastes like a lie, but sounds convincing enough. “I've gotten to know a lot of you, and I'm a better dude for it.” That one's the truth, at least, and Roxy's expression relaxes back into a smile. “So, uh. Here's to surviving, and friends, and a future free from the meddling bullshit of paradox space.” He pushes the knife into the cake, cuts an objectively perfect slice from his half, revealing the moist chocolate sponge beneath orange fondant.

 

His fellow humans whoop, clapping enthusiastically, followed shortly afterward by most of the trolls. Aradia is beaming, but she's been grinning for the whole fuckin' day – Dirk's talked to her enough to know that these sort of cultural celebrations are her bread and butter. One of the seatrolls - Dirk struggles to recall the name for a moment, they've never really talked much due to irrepressible air of douche wafting off the guy from a nautical mile away - is jeering in contempt at him. The other heiress elbows the troll sharply in the ribs, right where the second row of gills would be positioned, and he winces sharply and then puts his hands together a few times in a clear display of appeasement for her.

 

Dave cuts a big wedge from his side of the cake, which is appropriately candy red. The whole top of the cake is covered in crude dicks that both of them had piped onto it with royal icing when Jane wasn't paying attention. They'd highfived in the kitchen and grinned all through the scolding they'd received for their contribution.

 

“Happy birthday, Dirk,” he says on his way past, jamming two plastic forks into the hunk of cake. He's smiling, downright fucking carefree, and Dirk is almost painfully jealous of that for a second before he musters a smile in return.

 

“Happy birthday, Dave.”

 

The rest of the small crowd gets up now, and in a moment Dirk is surrounded by bodies as people hurry to get their slices of lovingly crafted Crocker cake as he eats his own. An inhumanly white hand grips his after he's jostled by Nepeta, who has an unsettling gleam in her eyes as she approaches the cake.

 

“Hey, let's take a minute.”

 

Dirk let's himself be pulled out of the throng, setting down his half eaten cake slice, and Hal takes him behind one of the massive trees near their little party clearing. He stares up at the sky, the sunlight filtering through the canopy of oak leaves, and some of the tension between his shoulders eases up. He exhales, and then looks down again and meet's Hal's eyes. He's grateful for his shades.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Dirk.” Hal is still holding his hand. It occurs to him to pull away, or object, but he doesn't. If he's being honest with himself, he could use the comfort. “Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah, I'm fine.” The last word is slightly strangled, but even without that tell, Dirk knows Hal is aware he's lying through his teeth. The android frowns, circuitry flaring.

 

It's strange, seeing Hal in natural light. He stands out more than usual here, paler even than Dave and Rose. Dirk's tan has faded in the years after getting out of that fucking game, but the difference in skintone between their clasped hands is stark. The sunlight is dappled across his face, shifting constantly as the stirrings of wind disrupt the leaves overhead. His hair is almost a halo around his head in that light. It's beautiful.

 

“Dirk.” His name is heavy in Hal's voice, like it's hard to utter. Dirk's free hand twitches. “You've been out of it for most of the afternoon. If you don't want to talk about it now, I'm not going to push you.”

 

“Thanks.” Dirk's shoulder's bunch, and Hal squeezes his hand. “I don't really know what's up.”

 

Hal's eyes unfocus for a moment, probably looking through various psychology journals, and then he steps in and puts his free arm around Dirk's waist.

 

~

 

Dirk sighs, Hal feels it through his body, and then lets his head fall to rest on Hal's shoulder.

 

“I don't really want to be here any more,” he mumbles, and Hal nods and rubs his hand on Dirk's back in small, firm circles.

 

“We can make excuses and get the fuck out of dodge early, if you want.”

 

“No, I have to stay for a bit. I promised Jane and Roxy I'd stick it out at least until after the movie.”

 

Hal's frown deepens, his hand stills. Dirk looks up at him, and he looks so strangely vulnerable against the backdrop of bark.

 

“I'm sure they will understand.”

 

“Really, I can manage for a while. I just need to get my shit together.” Dirk attempts a smile. “Thanks for pulling me out of there, I was starting to think Nepeta was going to start a riot.”

 

“Any time I can rescue you from potential murder by alien neko on a sugar quest, you know you can count on me to pull your ass out of the furry fire.” Dirk's smile becomes genuine, and Hal leans in to close the distance between their mouths.

 

Dirk's lips are heavily chapped and swollen, like he's been worrying at them for hours. He probably has. But they're also pliant and soft, and he makes a quiet noise in the back of his throat that makes Hal's chest feel tight. He pulls his hand out of Hal's and threads it through synthetic hair instead. His fingers tighten, and the kiss morphs from gentle to desperate. He grabs Hal's crimson tie, and Hal allows himself to be shifted around so his back is pressed against the rough back of the tree. He's wearing a more traditional suit instead of his normal attire, and the added sensory input makes him gasp. Dirk takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, pressing their bodies flush together.

 

Hal sets up a subroutine to alert him to approaching footfalls, and lets his hands shift from the small of Dirk's back to cup his ass through the decidedly informal black tracksuit pants Dirk is wearing, because of course Dirk regards a batman utility belt and tank top as suitable party wear.

 

“If this is how you get your shit together,” Hal says when Dirk draws back to tug down Hal's shirt collar to gain access to his throat, “consider me on-call, any time you need it.”

 

He already is, of course, but Dirk huffs a laugh against his skin before licking a line over his neck.

 

“Takes my mind off it.”

 

“I can feel that,” Hal nips his ear, and digs his fingers in a little. Dirk sighs, and Hal is abruptly very glad that he picked a tree that should be out of range of troll hearing and olfactory range. “When Jade suggested this location so we could 'connect with nature for once', I don't-” Dirk bites down, suckling on his skin, and Hal gasps. “-I don't think this is what she meant.”

 

“Are you complaining?” Dirk says, then licks along his jawline. Hal laughs, circuits flaring.

 

“Are you kidding? This shit is straight out of an old Harlequin novel. I'm swooning here, dude.”

 

“We don't have long before someone will come looking for us.”

 

“I could- Fuck, Dirk, do that again. Yeah, there, perfect – I could ask Ro-lal to run some interference for us.”

 

“How the fuck would you even word that?” Dirk snickers, untucking Hal's shirt from his dress trousers just enough to slide his hand down the front of them. Hal's pelvis jerks at the unexpected contact, and his dick stands to attention under Dirk's coaxing fingers.

 

“It seems you aren't forbidding me from doing it.” Dirk unbuttons Hal's trousers and tugs down his boxer's enough to let his erection loose. The breeze on the bare, sensitive skin is a new sensation for him, they've never done this outside before.

 

 

**\- - timaeusTranscribed [TT] began bothering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 3:14 - -**

 

**TT: Hey Ro-lal, need your help with something real quick.**

 

**TG: o hey whered u and dirk vanish off too**

 

**TG: void is MY gig bucko y r u ganking my steez**

 

**TG: nobody cept dave and eq have noticed yet they were gonna go looking for u in like five mins**

 

**TT: Yeah, that's what I need your assistance with. I need you to convince them to not do that.**

 

**TG: omg what**

 

**TG: y**

 

**TT: Dirk's not feeling very well, I'm helping him get his shit together.**

 

**TG: o is that what theyre calling it these days ;) ;) ;)**

 

**TT: Actually, yes.**

 

**TG: wait for real**

 

**TG: u and dirk sneaked away 2 get down an dirty in the tress??**

  
**TG: *trees**

 

**TT: That wasn't the original purpose. He genuinely was not feeling well, I wanted to give him a second to breathe away from the horde.**

 

**TG: uh huh**

  
**TG: well i take it hes feeling better then ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)**

 

**TT: He will be soon if you can help run interference for us for approximately ten minutes and fourteen seconds.**

 

**TG: wow u have this down to a science huh**

 

**TT: There is a margin for error, of course.**

 

**TG: wow**

 

**TG: does dirk know ur messagin me rn bc this is fuckin hilarious**

 

**TT: He knows, but he's a tad preoccupied right now. So, is that a yes?**

 

**TG: d u h**

  
**TG: of course its a yes dude thats romantic as fuck**

 

**TG: consider me ur wingwoman for this flight**

 

**TG: ill give u a heads up if anyone else gets worried about the birthday boy**

 

**TT: You're the best friend an android could ask for, Roxy.**

 

**TG: u fuckin kno it im a delight**

  
**TG: alright ill leave u 2 it u fuckin wood nymphos**

 

**TT: Haha.**

 

**\- - timaeusTranscribed [TT] ceased bothering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 3:15 - -**

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is mostly smut. I'm running a fever and I've gone over it a few times, so I apologize if I missed any obvious typos.

 

 

Hal arches his back against the tree, and Dirk digs his fingers into that gorgeous roboass. He kisses along the length of Hal's cock, and the circuits under the dermal layer light up in response to his ministrations. That never gets old. It's a slightly different pattern every time, visual feedback to help guide Dirk's mouth. He's asked before, if Hal controls it, but it's an involuntary response.

 

Dirk enjoys that. Dirk really, _really_ enjoys that.

 

He rolls Hal's balls in his right hand, gently massaging them an drawing a rare groan from the android. This is exactly what he needed. There is no room for intrusive thoughts when they're like this, and Hal is panting against the tree and his fingers scrambling to find a grip on the bark to steady himself. He looks so good in the light, like some unearthly mythological creature coaxed from his own realm for an erotic encounter.

 

Dirk grins at that flight of fancy, and Hal matches his smile.

 

“What's so-” He is cut off as Dirk swirls his tongue around the glans of his cock, before taking the head inside his mouth. His head bobs, drawing of much of Hal's dick into his mouth as he can, and his throat works as he smiles. One of Hal's hands finds Dirk's hair, fingers balling. “Amusing, I was- ah, fuck don't stop, god Dirk, just like that, you're so good. You're doing so good.”

 

Dirk's own cock throbs, and he desperately scrambles to push down his pants and gain access to it. He draws his mouth away from Hal's dick, licking swollen lips.

 

“Tell me more. Tell me what you want me to do. I want.” Fuck, even now it's still hard to get those words out, his ears burn with mortification. “I want to be good.”

 

Hal looks down at him, eyes bright and half-lidded. His lips curve up in a predatory grin that makes Dirk's heart skip a beat and then start pounding even harder. Hal's hand in his hair pulls sharply, forcing him to angle his head back further than is comfortable, fully exposing his throat. The earlier thought about some inhuman fey creature jumps back to the front of Dirk's mind, and his adam's apple bobs as he swallows.

 

“I love it when you look at me like that,” Hal murmurs, his free hand leaving the tree trunk. He bends just enough to trace the back of his index finger along the taught tendons in Dirk's neck. “Lust and fear look beautiful on your face. Especially out here, in the woods. We should come out here more. I would love to hunt you through these woods, pin you up against a tree and fuck you until you can't form cohesive sentences.” Dirk grunts, cock jerking in his hand, and he knows his pupils are completely blown, that Hal can hear his frantic heartbeat as loud as Dirk can in his ears. “Then I'd leave you naked and alone. And when you pulled yourself together, I would hunt you again, and again, until you begged me to stop because you're fragile human body is utterly _spent._ ”

 

Hal pulls on his hair, and Dirk obediently stumbles to his feet. He's pushed against the tree, and Hal slides his free hand up under Dirk's shirt and then digs in his nails and _drags._

 

~

 

Dirk makes the most fucking incredible sound when Hal scratches him, a strangled gasp of pain mixed with arousal, and his cock is as flushed as his cheeks.

 

“Perfect. You're perfect. Look at yourself. You're radiating heat and sex and desperation.” He leans in, catching Dirk's chapped lower lip between his teeth and applying just enough pressure to leave indents behind when he releases. “How much do you want to come right now, Dirk?”

 

“Fuck, Hal, I can't-” Dirk babbles, shades askew.“So much. So much, please. Please, I need this.”

 

“Do you?” Hal reaches down, circles Dirk's cock with his hand. “I could draw this out. Eventually, someone would come looking for us.” He smiles, and he can tell it's unnerving because Dirk sucks in a breath in a sharp hiss. “How would you feel about that, I wonder? If, say...John, or Jake, or Equius found us out here, like this?”

 

“Hal, please, I-”

 

“Answer the question, Dirk. How would you feel?” Dirk makes a few unintelligible noises, aborted attempts at words. Hal leisurely pumps his cock, smearing his thumb over the bead of pre-come. “It's alright. You can do it. You're doing extremely well, Dirk.”

 

“I. I wouldn't. I wouldn't give a shit. God, I wouldn't care. I need this.” His whole face is almost painfully flushed, and Hal rewards him by kissing his lips, his throat. “Please, Hal, please.”

 

“Good.” Hal takes a snapshot of Dirk's lust-clouded expression, adds it to an album of thousands of others, each one unique and delightful in its own way. “I think I would invite them to join in. And you would love that, I know you would.” He releases Dirk's cock, and Dirk outright _keens_ at the loss of contact. “It's alright, you're doing extremely well. Here, give me your hand.”

 

  
~

 

Dirk's throat is tight, his mouth dry. He holds out his hand and Hal steps closer until both of their erections are pressed against each other. The android takes his hand, and entwines their fingers. He raises them to press a kiss against each of Dirk's knuckles, the gesture so tender and out of step with the nearly frightening monologue about hunting him. Hal wraps both their hands around their cocks, and guides Dirk in setting a tortuously slow pace as they thrust their hips up, sliding their pre-slicked dicks into each other's grasp.

 

Dirk closes his eyes, captchaloguing his shades and resting his head in the crook of Hal's neck. A flash of shame makes the muscles in his neck tense, near a cramp.

 

_All the trolls will know._

 

There's no way that they won't smell Hal all over him, that they won't pick up on the musky scent of Dirk's sweat, his saliva on Hal's throat. They likely won't _care,_ but, they'll know.

 

It's been years, and while their closest friends and family know about the nature of their relationship, the wider social circle is still in the dark on that front. Dirk can _feel_ the colour draining from his face, and Hal lifts his chin and catches his suddenly numb lips in a soft kiss that tells him instantly that the android knows exactly what brought on the sudden tension.

 

“We can go home,” he whispers against Dirk's lips. “I can tell Roxy to make our excuses, say I was overloaded from the gathering and need a break before the movie.” He smooths his thumb along the underside of Dirk's cock, and then twists his wrist ever-so-slightly on the drag back. Dirk shudders against him, his own motions halting for a moment as Hal expertly hits his sweet spots. “We can go back to the house.” Kisses on his throat, his jaw, his cheeks. “Shower.” Hal's cock starts to subtly vibrate against his own, and Dirk's balls twitch violently in response, shaft jerking. “We can catch our breath, relax.”

 

“I-” Dirk bites his lip, fingers twitching, “It's not that I'm. I'm not. Ashamed. Of you. Or us. I just don't think it's any of their fucking business.”

 

“I know,” Hal presses their foreheads together, and his smile is an easy one that melts away the tight ball of tension Dirk didn't even realize he was carrying in his stomach. “I know. I agree. Should I...?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, do it. Thanks.” Dirk's shoulders drop, and Hal kisses him again. As their lips brush against each other, almost chaste grazing compared to the rapidly increasing pace of their frotting, Hal's gaze unfocuses ever so slightly. When his gaze resharpens, he grins and bites Dirk's earlobe, playful and reassuring.

 

“She's bailing us out.”

 

“Fuck, we don't deserve her.” Dirk chuffs out a laugh, Hal echoes it.

 

“Nobody does.” The vibration ramps up, and Dirk's knees decide all of a sudden that they don't want to perform their intended purpose. Hal catches him with his free hand, holds him tight. “You look so good like this, Dirk.”

“So do you. You look good in a suit, dude.”

 

“I imagine you would as well.” Hal grins, increasing his grip just enough that Dirk exhales in a long, low hiss as his cock throbs. “Sadly, I think I shall have to rely on my imagination alone to provide me with that visual. Not - ah, that was good – not all of us can be blessed with such a keen sense of aesthetics as I am.”

 

“Is now really the time to toot your own horn?” The second he says that, he regrets it, because Hal's eyes sparkle with delight and Dirk can anticipate the answer the moment before it's delivered.

 

“Actually, I'm tooting yours.”

 

“I- fuck, I hate you so much.”

 

“Really? Because you seem _awfully_ happy to see me. Do I need to contact Karkat for quadrant advice?”

 

“Oh my fucking god, shut up.” Dirk laughs, robbing any venom from the words. “He'd have a fit.”

 

“I think he's used to our brand of debauchery by now.” Hal flashes teeth as he grins, wide and purely happy, revealing those fucking adorable dimples. Dirk kisses them, because what's the point of jerking off your android boyfriend in a forest if you can't show some appreciation for nature's little miracles while you're at it? That's right, _no_ point.

 

They climax in quick succession, Dirk coming first and ruining Hal's dress shirt in the process, not that Hal gives a single shit about that – although he grumbles anyway about how hard it is to get spunk stains out of 100% silk before Dirk weakly socks him in the arm.

 

When Hal clasps his hands around Dirk's waist and the engine on his rocketboard fires up, Dirk could almost pretend that the whole day had been so relaxing and carefree.

 

 

Almost.


End file.
